The "Love Bear" Saga

(they're almost as annoying as love bugs)

picture of one pink and one blue bear
        Muffy & Fluffy lived in a tree.
	Muffy & Fluffy liked to eat honey.
(internal rhyme and masculine rhyme-at least I learned something in English class)

One day, Muffy was walking along, going to find her favorite honey tree (this was not earth, so the trees grew honey and bears could be interesting colors, such as green, purple, pink, or blue.) Muffy was a pink bear (on the planet Notearth, organisms could choose their own colors (which is why many fungi were magenta--for some reason, fungi have always liked that color, on all planets) and Muffy had always liked the color pink.) Anyway (((can you tell I like parentheses?))) as Muffy was walking through the forest, she saw another bear at her favorite tree. Muffy, who had never been an especially shy bear, introduced herself. "Bonjour. Je m'appelle Muffy. Et vous?" Muffy did not know why she spoke in French, since Earth languages don't exist on Notearth. (They didn't speak English, either, so it makes as much sense to describe them in French as in English (I don't know Spanish, so Muffy and Fluffy will not be speaking in Spanish (or Japanese, or Russian, or Latin, etc.)))

"Bonjour," il repond, "je m'appelle Fluffy. Je suis enchanté de faire votre connaissance."

Fluffy and Muffy talked for a while (in the notearthian language of the colorbears (Bears that weren't good in a previous life can't choose their own colors--they must be a color that only exists on notearth, a rather gucky indescribable color (I can't describe it because I have never been to notearth.))) Then Fluffy and Muffy started to fall in love. They walked back to their homes and discovered they had been living in different holes of the same log (none of the colorbears of Notearth is extremely intelligent.) They made a date to have dinner together that evening.

A green baby colorbear

Duffy, the eventual result of Muffy and Fluffy. (It took them a while to figure out what to do -- like I said, not extremely intelligent.) Duffy has not learned to keep the kite string in a ball.

Fluffy and Muffy loved Duffy very much, but he did get in the way. They thought if Duffy went away to school they might be able to spend more time together.

Two baby bears, one orange and one yellowAnd the result, 171 months after Duffy left for school, was Buffy and Xuffy. With three little bears, Fluffy and Muffy decided they'd had enough and didn't spend quite so much time together. The three little bears and the two big ones found other things to do, like gymnastics.

Colorbears doing gymnastics
Blue bear with scoreboardAnd when they were older, the three little bears all became champions at the Notearth Olympics (nothing to do with the fact that Fluffy was a judge.) 

  Dieu ne peut rien,
 L'homme ne peut rien,
  Hi ho the dairy-o,
Personne ne peut rien.
(The national anthem of the colorbears, sung to the tune of "The Farmer In The Dell".)

A giant lopsided hat The new hat by Bearis designer Pierre Beardin. It's much too big and lopsided, but none of them noticed for several molts (1 molt= 14.79 months, +/- 7.8 months) until Xuffy, the brightest (he could count his toes--one) noticed, and they decided they either needed to start having baby bears with larger heads, or use several bears under one hat. (The obvious solution did not occur to any of them until MUCH later, when an even more intelligent descendant of Xuffy's (he could count his eyes-- two) realized it. Tragically, he was attacked by an evil noncolorbear while trying to count the three trees in front of his home (an easy task because it took him several months.) Unfortunately, he died of his wounds before he could either count to three or reveal to Pierre Beardin the secret of making smaller hats.)

The evil noncolorbears are evil because their whole economy is based on the buying and selling of tranquilizers of the sort which were promptly outlawed by the colorbears as soon as they got their independence, which are fiendishly expensive. The noncolorbears commit many crimes for money to buy their tranquilizers. When asked why they didn't quit taking the drugs, a noncolorbear replied, "You don't know what it's like on those downers, man. It's better than hibernating..."

The government of Colorbearland is quite simple. The Supreme Court of five bears settles any serious arguments, another bear writes down the results, and that becomes law as soon as it is stamped with the official seal of the government. Since they can't make laws without some bears having an argument and colorbears mostly all think the same inane way, there are very few laws and the Supreme Court doesn't have a lot to do, but since they don't get anything for what they do, they don't mind.

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