A Work In Progress
This is a poem I started junior year of high school, before I'd ever had a boyfriend (I think it was junior year -- there are no dates in my notebook) and redid accidentally junior year of college, after dating a guy for a long time and coming close to getting engaged. I was trying to write it down from memory to read at a very badly-attended coffeehouse/poetry reading, arranged by a friend who worked for the Campus Activities Board. As only three or four people were there, I was persuaded to read, but I hadn't brought anything with me. The version I wrote down from memory differs somewhat from the original.
So I'm still working on it. There may be a third version up here sometime. One for each stage of my (physically) adult life. We'll see if my view of relationships can get any more twisted. [grin]
High School Version
I would have you
If I did not have shyness
If I did not have quiet
If I did not melt into the crowd.I would have you
And I would have companionship
I would have romance
I would have someone to kill the cockroaches.
And I would have to cook you dinner...
I would have to call when I'll be late
I would have to explain my thoughts to you.I would have you.
And I would not have my independence.
I would not have my private, peaceful home
I would not have my system of organizing food in the refrigerator.Maybe having you would not be so great.
Maybe I can learn to kill cockroaches.Or should I?
The College Version
If I had what I want,
I would have you.
And I would have love.
I would have security
I would have someone to kill the cockroaches
Late at night when I open a cabinet.I would have you
And I would have duty
I would have someone else to consider
I would have to call when I'll be home late.I would have you
And I would not have freedom
I would not have solitude
I would not have my own personal way
Of arranging the stuff in the refrigerator.Maybe I can learn to compromise
Maybe I can start to be considerate
Instead of just thinking of my own needs
Or maybe I should just learn to kill the roaches myself.But then I wouldn't have you!
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